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Hello, Chief scum. Thank you sharing this summary of David and God's forgiveness.
Yes. Control can be had by one person or by a group of people. I think 3 is an ideal number to agree on a label. When we label something, all the details are taken into account to provide a sum(mary). The sum allows others to easily assess our understanding of a situation. There is always the possibility that the details don't support the label. There is also the possibility that an alternative label can be used that may be more constructive.
For example, a woman opened up about her home life. The first thing she said about a relative was that they lacked motivation and counted off the details. Then another 1/2 hour later, she used the same details to say that person was an opportunist. In my opinion, if somebody talks about me, I would rather they say I lack motivation than call me an opportunist if the same details will be used.
Her change of words, from a more constructive outlook to an outlook with more obstructions, just communicated to me that she knows how to socialize, and when she feels she can trust someone, she will then share what is truly in her heart. A 3rd person was there and also made the same observation.
Now, in regards to your story. There are many good lessons to be learned there, like the importance of being corrected so that the same mistakes are not repeated. As an atheist, the bolded part stuck out.
This reminds me of when people make the observation that the family got together when "grandma was still alive" or some other respected elder in the family insisted that family should forgive. I can see how God plays the "respected elder" for some people. For some families, it pays off to keep everyone together. In mine, we were better off going our separate ways and coming back much later to help each other with our achievements on the condition that we communicate better.
The major difference is that in David's story, he at least decided he needed to change. In my story, it took being forced to make it in the world without family to get people to change.
Since I butchered my previous response to your post. Let me give another reply.
Labels, compartmentalizing and boxing things up has its place. However many on this forum and many people outside this forum do that to me all the time with very little information about me personally, and apply all their preconceived notions to me. Many can just look at you and instantly put you in a box of all their preconceived notions. Already being judged, hated and pigeonholed before knowing anything of true substance.
I have also learned that when people try to teach me to hate someone else, that I shouldn't take it to heart, and if necessary find out for myself.
I know that many have suffered religious abuse from other people and I have as well and it breaks my heart when people who know that I truly believe in God want to apply all that hurt and anger to me. Because it was knowing God's love for me that brought me to the point of seeing past all that to God and God's acceptance of me and beholding that.
Since I butchered my previous response to your post. Let me give another reply.
Labels, compartmentalizing and boxing things up has its place. However many on this forum and many people outside this forum do that to me all the time with very little information about me personally, and apply all their preconceived notions to me. Many can just look at you and instantly put you in a box of all their preconceived notions. Already being judged, hated and pigeonholed before knowing anything of true substance.
I have also learned that when people try to teach me to hate someone else, that I shouldn't take it to heart, and if necessary find out for myself.
I know that many have suffered religious abuse from other people and I have as well and it breaks my heart when people who know that I truly believe in God want to apply all that hurt and anger to me. Because it was knowing God's love for me that brought me to the point of seeing past all that to God and God's acceptance of me and beholding that.
Don't worry about the last post. It's fine if you think you need to revisit a story. I'm sorry that you are misunderstood. It is easy to take it personally. If people are applying their hurt and anger to you, they have poor communication skills, poor assessment of your intentions, and poor methods of enhancing their comprehension.
I have made clear that I am an atheist. Perhaps it is still confusing why an atheist would be in these parts of the forum. It is possible that my posts came across as bitter, sad, and confused. That is why you want to share your experience with your belief in God and how it changed you. Becoming an atheist was a single event in my life, but using the label is only meant to clarify my position rather than promote the concept. My position was simply that I know what I am doing is not wrong even if I can't say it is right. It was difficult to fit a god in that philosophy.
After that single event, I had to deconstruct what I was taught. Surely, stripping the layers of "religious education" would lead to a conclusion. Some might have found God there, but I wasn't looking for God because one of the points made about God was that he is everywhere. If that is true, then wouldn't I have found him before? And I'm not saying this to be a smarty pants. I concluded he either exists or he doesn't, but it doesn't change the fact that I am responsible for how I interact with the world.
I wasn't looking for something that possibly wasn't there. Instead, my goal had been to understand words to use them to describe the world I can observe.
Don't worry about the last post. It's fine if you think you need to revisit a story. I'm sorry that you are misunderstood. It is easy to take it personally. If people are applying their hurt and anger to you, they have poor communication skills, poor assessment of your intentions, and poor methods of enhancing their comprehension.
I have made clear that I am an atheist. Perhaps it is still confusing why an atheist would be in these parts of the forum. It is possible that my posts came across as bitter, sad, and confused. That is why you want to share your experience with your belief in God and how it changed you. Becoming an atheist was a single event in my life, but using the label is only meant to clarify my position rather than promote the concept. My position was simply that I know what I am doing is not wrong even if I can't say it is right. It was difficult to fit a god in that philosophy.
After that single event, I had to deconstruct what I was taught. Surely, stripping the layers of "religious education" would lead to a conclusion. Some might have found God there, but I wasn't looking for God because one of the points made about God was that he is everywhere. If that is true, then wouldn't I have found him before? And I'm not saying this to be a smarty pants. I concluded he either exists or he doesn't, but it doesn't change the fact that I am responsible for how I interact with the world.
I wasn't looking for something that possibly wasn't there. Instead, my goal had been to understand words to use them to describe the world I can observe.
Your last sentence is also what I do...
And there are so many words swirling around to share inside me right now, that I seek to trim it back and write a short simple response.
I don't understand when people say they found God, or they made a decision for Jesus Christ. I didn't grow up with a religious education. I reached a place in my life where I had no allies and everyone I trusted was treating me like a foolish bastard. And that is where God found me and made Himself known to me in such a beautiful and loving way that I could not overlook it in every sense of the word. And that is my hope for others, not to stand over others and beat them down in some self-exalting manner, but to see others raised up in a truth that is so much greater than what this world displays, that is peaceful, forgiving and loving.
The story of David and Absolom relates to so many things going on in the world today. Jesus Christ was put on trial by the religious leaders of that time. So, who better to show me past those who seek to place themselves between God and me. As it is the religious leaders today who place the stumbling blocks in the way, subtly undercutting what they claim to praise. Just as Absolom praised the Crown and Scepter and presented himself good and to be worshipped, while calling David sin. So too the leaders of what is called christianity, sing their songs of praise, while presenting Jesus Chris as becoming sin and being God forsaken. And I know him to be neither of those, and I know David was forgiven and not God forsaken, as Absolom tried to present him as a God forsaken man of sin...
...It is the same thing the Satan/serpent did, praising God out of one side of his mouth and undercutting God's word out of the other side of his mouth. To then declare himself above all, trying to steal their Crowns. So, when I see religious leaders standing there being praised and worshipped, I just look past them knowing the guise in which they operate.
So, I get why people who grew up being taught by them, have a hard time sorting things out. As I too had to sort many things out. And they apply everything they endured in those circles to God, because of the religious leaders who present themselves as God.
People have a hard time understanding God from the Old Covenant to the New Covenant that the Prophet Jeremiah announced, while failing to see the progression God is sharing through it all, in dealing with a world where everyone wants to be above each other, even the One True God...
...You can see the humble nature of God in the story of Solomon. God gave Solomon the name Jedidiah at birth, which means Beloved of God, and Solomon was also given the commission to build God's house and also given a request to be granted. Solomon asked for wisdom to lead the people, because they were so many. When you search God's heart in all that, you see the answer God placed on the table. It was for Solomon "Jedidiah" to ask to live in God's House. And in that, where to lead the people is a given. As God's House is not built in vain.
So, God gave him the personal exalting nature of his request to the fullest. And the things God gave him went against, what is written in the law concerning the King. As you also had God's House over here and the division of the King's castle over there. And there are many things in the story to bring out. And many things that you can see in searching God's heart. Like when it came time for the Grand Opening at the completion of God's House. They offered all those sacrifices and it says the Glory of God was so great the Priest's could not stand in the presence. It was not in an inviting manner. People interpret that as God exalting His mighty power, when it really represents the spurning of God's love, because Solomon was given the name Jedidiah "Beloved of God" and had Solomon received that name first and foremost by asking with his request to be granted, to live in God's House and in that love. It would have been a Home Coming party with love all around, and to be known first and foremost by the name Jedidiah that God gave him.
So, Solomon sought love in marrying a thousand wives and building temples to their god's as well. Adoration all around, till it brought him to the end of himself and the writing of Ecclesiastes and the vanity of all he experienced. To come back to the name Jedidiah that God gave him at birth.
I understood those things in seeking the heart of the matter that Jesus Christ shared in the beatitudes.
Sorry my post is so long...
Last edited by chief scum; 05-20-2024 at 08:58 AM..
...
I have made clear that I am an atheist. Perhaps it is still confusing why an atheist would be in these parts of the forum. It is possible that my posts came across as bitter, sad, and confused. That is why you want to share your experience with your belief in God and how it changed you. Becoming an atheist was a single event in my life, but using the label is only meant to clarify my position rather than promote the concept. My position was simply that I know what I am doing is not wrong even if I can't say it is right. It was difficult to fit a god in that philosophy.
After that single event, I had to deconstruct what I was taught. Surely, stripping the layers of "religious education" would lead to a conclusion. Some might have found God there, but I wasn't looking for God because one of the points made about God was that he is everywhere. If that is true, then wouldn't I have found him before? And I'm not saying this to be a smarty pants. I concluded he either exists or he doesn't, but it doesn't change the fact that I am responsible for how I interact with the world.
I wasn't looking for something that possibly wasn't there. Instead, my goal had been to understand words to use them to describe the world I can observe.
Nicely written.
It shouldn't be confusing why an atheist "would be in these parts of the forum". Those of us (and I am another) who come from an early phase in life when christianity was pushed on us (either passively or actively), but found a different reality (and/or atheism or another religion) still live in an environment that is overwhelmingly 'christian light', and/or still have an interest in the topic. This part of the forum is not, as some here seem to believe, a 'praise forum'; it is a place to discuss the topic of religion, whether it be christianity, Buddhism, Sikhism, no-ism (), or any other ism.
Given that many people believe that we are all born as sinners, what does forgiveness look like and how can anyone tell they have been forgiven by God? How can anyone else know that forgiveness has been achieved?
Is it just an absence of conscience or guilty feeling? Is it just being a Christian will absolve all your sins if you say you are 'sorry?.
It really makes a mockery of calling anyone a sinner if you cannot find out in some way that they are now NOT a sinner but forgiven.
Again, some people think we are all sinners all the time and cannot be anything else, so how can we be forgiven at all, ever? It seems there is a little explanation which is needed.
Full and complete forgiveness for all conscious beings that ever existed (no matter what) is the ultimate expression of understanding, which is the ultimate expression of knowledge.
And that's because free will is a made up concept, that ultimately makes no sense. Even the morally very worst person that ever lived, or whatever, (when you actually understand EVERYTHING, like at a sub-atomic level) didn't have an actual true choice to be anything other than exactly what he was and what he did.
I really think that's the fact of it all that people usually aren't ready to accept. This 'self' entity we concoct in the conscious part of our mental experience, doesn't have the power and ability that we think it has. And 'free will' that we ascribe to it is just the other side of that coin. The coin ultimately doesn't exist.
The concept we have in society of 'forgiveness', really just comes from a lack of understanding of the real reasons why things all play out the way they do with the behaviors and the 'choices' of human beings, and if there was a perfect master of the universe (ex. God), then, he would not have such limitation. He would know exactly why every single thing that ever happened ever happened, why someone felt exactly the way they felt or why they were compulsively driven to do what they did, or even the actions of what we consider the most evil monsters that ever lived- and so there would be nothing to forgive, in that sense.
Sin/Satan/whatever the hell you want to call it, that whole idea is ultimately a limited expression of our very limited understand and knowledge as limited beings. As is forgiveness and Jesus. Actual forgiveness would have nothing to do with any of that.
Don't get me wrong- morality is great and I'm all for it. Responsibility for one's self is awesome, and the key to our growth as individuals and members of society. But, ultimately, none of it is anyone's fault, and any God would 100% fully 'forgive' every conscious creature that ever existed on earth (and we would all 'forgive' each other in a hypothetical merged unity of greater understanding). Again, whether or not they'd even heard of Jesus or any specific religious myth.
Humans have been around hundreds of thousands of years, and before that we were just gradually an earlier/more primitive version of our ape-selves, surviving in the harsh wild as all animals do. Christ has nothing to do with 'forgiveness' or 'sin'. All religions have silly specifics that are definitely all wrong. Even if they might be right about some deeper 'spiritual' plane or part of existence. However if so, then that is just a part of the physical universe that we don't scientifically understand yet. To me, "we don't understand", doesn't therefore mean "supernatural". Supernatural, to me, is like "divide by zero". Invalid concept. If it exists, then it's therefore part of this great, mysterious, wondrous, real thing that we call nature. Including any hypothetical 'afterlife' or any of that.
And there are so many words swirling around to share inside me right now, that I seek to trim it back and write a short simple response.
I don't understand when people say they found God, or they made a decision for Jesus Christ. I didn't grow up with a religious education. I reached a place in my life where I had no allies and everyone I trusted was treating me like a foolish bastard. And that is where God found me and made Himself known to me in such a beautiful and loving way that I could not overlook it in every sense of the word. And that is my hope for others, not to stand over others and beat them down in some self-exalting manner, but to see others raised up in a truth that is so much greater than what this world displays, that is peaceful, forgiving and loving.
The story of David and Absolom relates to so many things going on in the world today. Jesus Christ was put on trial by the religious leaders of that time. So, who better to show me past those who seek to place themselves between God and me. As it is the religious leaders today who place the stumbling blocks in the way, subtly undercutting what they claim to praise. Just as Absolom praised the Crown and Scepter and presented himself good and to be worshipped, while calling David sin. So too the leaders of what is called christianity, sing their songs of praise, while presenting Jesus Chris as becoming sin and being God forsaken. And I know him to be neither of those, and I know David was forgiven and not God forsaken, as Absolom tried to present him as a God forsaken man of sin...
...It is the same thing the Satan/serpent did, praising God out of one side of his mouth and undercutting God's word out of the other side of his mouth. To then declare himself above all, trying to steal their Crowns. So, when I see religious leaders standing there being praised and worshipped, I just look past them knowing the guise in which they operate.
So, I get why people who grew up being taught by them, have a hard time sorting things out. As I too had to sort many things out. And they apply everything they endured in those circles to God, because of the religious leaders who present themselves as God.
People have a hard time understanding God from the Old Covenant to the New Covenant that the Prophet Jeremiah announced, while failing to see the progression God is sharing through it all, in dealing with a world where everyone wants to be above each other, even the One True God...
...You can see the humble nature of God in the story of Solomon. God gave Solomon the name Jedidiah at birth, which means Beloved of God, and Solomon was also given the commission to build God's house and also given a request to be granted. Solomon asked for wisdom to lead the people, because they were so many. When you search God's heart in all that, you see the answer God placed on the table. It was for Solomon "Jedidiah" to ask to live in God's House. And in that, where to lead the people is a given. As God's House is not built in vain.
So, God gave him the personal exalting nature of his request to the fullest. And the things God gave him went against, what is written in the law concerning the King. As you also had God's House over here and the division of the King's castle over there. And there are many things in the story to bring out. And many things that you can see in searching God's heart. Like when it came time for the Grand Opening at the completion of God's House. They offered all those sacrifices and it says the Glory of God was so great the Priest's could not stand in the presence. It was not in an inviting manner. People interpret that as God exalting His mighty power, when it really represents the spurning of God's love, because Solomon was given the name Jedidiah "Beloved of God" and had Solomon received that name first and foremost by asking with his request to be granted, to live in God's House and in that love. It would have been a Home Coming party with love all around, and to be known first and foremost by the name Jedidiah that God gave him.
So, Solomon sought love in marrying a thousand wives and building temples to their god's as well. Adoration all around, till it brought him to the end of himself and the writing of Ecclesiastes and the vanity of all he experienced. To come back to the name Jedidiah that God gave him at birth.
I understood those things in seeking the heart of the matter that Jesus Christ shared in the beatitudes.
Sorry my post is so long...
Yes, it is long but it is evident that once you defined love, you were able to point out more instances of God's love. Love, however, is a label; it is not concrete. We attempt to make it concrete by labeling it. It is not lost on me that there are instances where labeling is an undesirable act. This would be one of those instances - calling love, especially God's love, a label. It minimizes the impact of the word.
Love then is a concept with observable examples that are meant to support it. Here is one you mentioned: Giving Solomon the name Jedidiah which has deep meaning, not to mention that it was given by a God. I remember when my daughter started expressing her dislike of her name, starting asking why we chose it. While we were careful to exclude many other names I wanted initially, her name was chosen because I liked how it sounded with our family name and I liked the nickname. There was nothing more to it, unfortunately. My name has no deep meaning to it, no history, and I lived with the fact that many did not find that it fit me. Nor was I ever told that it was beautiful. I just turned around and did the same to my daughter. Giving her that name was my act of love, even if undeveloped, yet she did not love it and did not feel we put a lot of thought into it. Ooops, I hope she forgives me.
Another example you provided was "Solomon was also given the commission to build God's house and also given a request to be granted." It's not clear why you pointed out this example, so here is my understanding outside of your context. I know that one major belief that Americans have is that you can grow up to be anything and do anything. That has some truth to it. However, it also helps when you have been provided the opportunities, the "ropes". It is often said, "It is not what you know but who you know." It certainly helps to have God back up your missions. If a person got ahead in this world, whether that be for personal glory or God's glory, somebody somewhere who had the means made way for that to happen even if all they did was give a slight nod.
Therefore, now as a parent, as a friend, as a co-worker, as a neighbor, I understand the importance of being constructive, or even industrious. Opportunity is created even if it is not used at that moment. And the more you surround yourself with industrious people, the more opportunities that are presented. And when you give to a person, they feel selected, wanted, supported, and loved. That is why forgiveness is a big topic. To not forgive means cutting oneself off from opportunities. That is why I made the claim earlier that people are more than likely to be forgiven by those who see value in them.
So, yes, it is understandable that you see love in the story of God, where his personal touch was documented in the holy books. More than two thousand years later, all that we are left with today is the impersonal outcome of His choice to let us live. Life. That is his lasting gift. Forgive. He has forgiven us and now we have to make do in this world with just the books. Isn't that the message?
I think back to when I thought I was given so little because the extra I was given was memorable. My Christmas gifts were usually socks and my birthdays were no longer an event after I was four. So I remember that first computer I was given. It was given to me by our most industrious family member. I had to beg for it. My report cards supported it. It was a Sony VAIO, beautiful and purple. One year later, I applied for college far away and was accepted. That same family member bought me my first car. Off I went to become the family member of firsts. So I feel loved and cared for by that family member because he provided resources that changed my trajectory. Though these two things were pivotal in my life, that family member didn't do much else.
But what about the others - the ones who gave me food, shelter, and clothing that was expected from any family, which would later cause me to declare not enough? Not enough opportunities, money, or guidance through forgiveness. If God was around more than 2,000 years ago, shaping world events through particular people by giving them key resources at key points, then his absence today is felt like living day-to-day with people who gave the minimum. It sounds like I am ungrateful, like I don't forgive God. At some point, that was true.
It is not like that anymore because now words have meaning today, right now, not later. That would be the promise of Heaven. Parents often say that when children grow up, they will realize why parents did the things that made children upset. More importantly, I realize now why providing the basics was all my family could do, but what they couldn't deal with were my feelings and that, sadly, separated us. And so, I set out to change that in my own family and in doing so, stumbled upon the realization that if I wasn't born, if I wasn't fed, sheltered, and clothed, if I didn't get that computer, that car, I wouldn't be were I am today.
Therefore, it is easy to see how people love a God who gave them life, but what I needed was to love my family. That is why God isn't enough.
Yes, it is long but it is evident that once you defined love, you were able to point out more instances of God's love. Love, however, is a label; it is not concrete. We attempt to make it concrete by labeling it. It is not lost on me that there are instances where labeling is an undesirable act. This would be one of those instances - calling love, especially God's love, a label. It minimizes the impact of the word.
Love then is a concept with observable examples that are meant to support it. Here is one you mentioned: Giving Solomon the name Jedidiah which has deep meaning, not to mention that it was given by a God. I remember when my daughter started expressing her dislike of her name, starting asking why we chose it. While we were careful to exclude many other names I wanted initially, her name was chosen because I liked how it sounded with our family name and I liked the nickname. There was nothing more to it, unfortunately. My name has no deep meaning to it, no history, and I lived with the fact that many did not find that it fit me. Nor was I ever told that it was beautiful. I just turned around and did the same to my daughter. Giving her that name was my act of love, even if undeveloped, yet she did not love it and did not feel we put a lot of thought into it. Ooops, I hope she forgives me.
Another example you provided was "Solomon was also given the commission to build God's house and also given a request to be granted." It's not clear why you pointed out this example, so here is my understanding outside of your context. I know that one major belief that Americans have is that you can grow up to be anything and do anything. That has some truth to it. However, it also helps when you have been provided the opportunities, the "ropes". It is often said, "It is not what you know but who you know." It certainly helps to have God back up your missions. If a person got ahead in this world, whether that be for personal glory or God's glory, somebody somewhere who had the means made way for that to happen even if all they did was give a slight nod.
Therefore, now as a parent, as a friend, as a co-worker, as a neighbor, I understand the importance of being constructive, or even industrious. Opportunity is created even if it is not used at that moment. And the more you surround yourself with industrious people, the more opportunities that are presented. And when you give to a person, they feel selected, wanted, supported, and loved. That is why forgiveness is a big topic. To not forgive means cutting oneself off from opportunities. That is why I made the claim earlier that people are more than likely to be forgiven by those who see value in them.
So, yes, it is understandable that you see love in the story of God, where his personal touch was documented in the holy books. More than two thousand years later, all that we are left with today is the impersonal outcome of His choice to let us live. Life. That is his lasting gift. Forgive. He has forgiven us and now we have to make do in this world with just the books. Isn't that the message?
I think back to when I thought I was given so little because the extra I was given was memorable. My Christmas gifts were usually socks and my birthdays were no longer an event after I was four. So I remember that first computer I was given. It was given to me by our most industrious family member. I had to beg for it. My report cards supported it. It was a Sony VAIO, beautiful and purple. One year later, I applied for college far away and was accepted. That same family member bought me my first car. Off I went to become the family member of firsts. So I feel loved and cared for by that family member because he provided resources that changed my trajectory. Though these two things were pivotal in my life, that family member didn't do much else.
But what about the others - the ones who gave me food, shelter, and clothing that was expected from any family, which would later cause me to declare not enough? Not enough opportunities, money, or guidance through forgiveness. If God was around more than 2,000 years ago, shaping world events through particular people by giving them key resources at key points, then his absence today is felt like living day-to-day with people who gave the minimum. It sounds like I am ungrateful, like I don't forgive God. At some point, that was true.
It is not like that anymore because now words have meaning today, right now, not later. That would be the promise of Heaven. Parents often say that when children grow up, they will realize why parents did the things that made children upset. More importantly, I realize now why providing the basics was all my family could do, but what they couldn't deal with were my feelings and that, sadly, separated us. And so, I set out to change that in my own family and in doing so, stumbled upon the realization that if I wasn't born, if I wasn't fed, sheltered, and clothed, if I didn't get that computer, that car, I wouldn't be were I am today.
Therefore, it is easy to see how people love a God who gave them life, but what I needed was to love my family. That is why God isn't enough.
We are all living epistles and have a story that is unique to us...
I struggle a bit in sharing this, because I love my parents wholeheartedly. And only seek to heal all their pain. Because I now accept and understand what they went through.
Seven years before I was born, the neighbors firstborn son died at my house by hanging. The basement steps hadn't been poured and the child slipped under the barrier and his coat got hung up and he died. My mom and the child's mom were visiting, and the horror of finding the child hanging there dead was extreme.
My mom couldn't let go of the feeling that it was all her fault, and suffered in so much pain that the doctors wanted to clip some nerves in the back of her neck, as no one knew how to heal her. My dad wouldn't let them do that. I was carried and born four years into that and my mom said that she was healed on my third birthday. That made me feel special, but also confused me because my mom could only frown upon me. I always tried to make her laugh because when she smiled everything felt alright. And many years later it all began to make sense, because when I watched the home movie of my third birthday party I was on my moms lap crying and didn't want to have anything to do with anyone and my mom was healed and she always had a light in her eyes. That is when I realized that it was for me to carry her pain and the fault of it all, as a point of release for her. Like the scapegoat in scripture it was transferred to me to carry away. I get that now and don't hold it against her in any way. How could I be loved after what had happened to the neighbors child. Another thing that I'm sure made it difficult for my mom is that my oldest brother, her firstborn son was born on December 25th. A day that is celebrated concerning birth. And then that happening to the neighbors firstborn son at our house.
Then it came time for my healing and God gave me a vision at my lowest point. Where I no longer had the death of a child hanging over my head. And then where all I knew was love.
There is a whole lifetime of events that fill all that in. And I did stay with my mom and helped in taking care of her till her passing. I only want to be a blessing to her as the name I was given at birth, with my first name and middle name forming a sentence. I feel bad that I was such a rotten kid before my dad died. I just hope that people find healing all around past the suffering of this life. I am thankful to know Jesus Christ who sees me through it all.
Last edited by chief scum; 05-21-2024 at 09:06 AM..
We are all living epistles and have a story that is unique to us...
I struggle a bit in sharing this, because I love my parents wholeheartedly. And only seek to heal all their pain. Because I now accept and understand what they went through.
Seven years before I was born, the neighbors firstborn son died at my house by hanging. The basement steps hadn't been poured and the child slipped under the barrier and his coat got hung up and he died. My mom and the child's mom were visiting, and the horror of finding the child hanging there dead was extreme.
My mom couldn't let go of the feeling that it was all her fault, and suffered in so much pain that the doctors wanted to clip some nerves in the back of her neck, as no one knew how to heal her. My dad wouldn't let them do that. I was carried and born four years into that and my mom said that she was healed on my third birthday. That made me feel special, but also confused me because my mom could only frown upon me. I always tried to make her laugh because when she smiled everything felt alright. And many years later it all began to make sense, because when I watched the home movie of my third birthday party I was on my moms lap crying and didn't want to have anything to do with anyone and my mom was healed and she always had a light in her eyes. That is when I realized that it was for me to carry her pain and the fault of it all, as a point of release for her. Like the scapegoat in scripture it was transferred to me to carry away. I get that now and don't hold it against her in any way. How could I be loved after what had happened to the neighbors child. Another thing that I'm sure made it difficult for my mom is that my oldest brother, her firstborn son was born on December 25th. A day that is celebrated concerning birth. And then that happening to the neighbors firstborn son at our house.
Then it came time for my healing and God gave me a vision at my lowest point. Where I no longer had the death of a child hanging over my head. And then where all I knew was love.
There is a whole lifetime of events that fill all that in. And I did stay with my mom and helped in taking care of her till her passing. I only want to be a blessing to her as the name I was given at birth, with my first name and middle name forming a sentence. I feel bad that I was such a rotten kid before my dad died. I just hope that people find healing all around past the suffering of this life. I am thankful to know Jesus Christ who sees me through it all.
Wow, Chief. What a devasting thing to happen to your mom and her friend. I am glad you found peace through the scriptures and that you were able to channel that energy to help your mom.
We had a very similar goal, yet took very different paths to reach that goal. Thank you for sharing this deeply personal story.
We can only experience life through our own eyes and through our own living of our life. It is our experience which shapes our world, our beliefs, our attitudes, etc. Other people, even our family members, have gone through different experiences and have developed different beliefs etc.
Taking God as the most personal, individual, human-like character is what Christianity wants us to do but what if God is not such a personal entity but more of an intelligent force. Perhaps an intelligence which does not have a personal relationship with us but nevertheless still creates order and manages all the energy in our reality - from design right through to the finish of that particular piece.
It is a very human response to make something which is potentially so large and seemingly impersonal, personal and individual to us. It helps us relate better and makes us feel more secure and even that there is a purpose to our living. Maybe the Bible is mans attempt at making God more personal and individual.
I feel religion does that for we humans who need it. However, not everyone needs that and can relate to a universal force directing and managing things in our environment.
Forgiveness makes us feel better about ourselves, it has no bearing on the act which we 'need' forgiveness for. We did it and we have to own it and grow from it.
It shouldn't be confusing why an atheist "would be in these parts of the forum". Those of us (and I am another) who come from an early phase in life when christianity was pushed on us (either passively or actively), but found a different reality (and/or atheism or another religion) still live in an environment that is overwhelmingly 'christian light', and/or still have an interest in the topic. This part of the forum is not, as some here seem to believe, a 'praise forum'; it is a place to discuss the topic of religion, whether it be christianity, Buddhism, Sikhism, no-ism (), or any other ism.
Thanks, Phetaroi. I was watching a show that made me think of your post, especially the bolded part. In this show (The Last Kingdom), a Christian king, who is Alfred the Great, must rely on a pagan to make his vision a reality. The king's advisors ensure that any success they experience is the result of God by interjecting "Praise him!". The director's intention is to make the interjections feel forced and awkward. When something doesn't go their way, the king's wife is quick to explain God is not happy because they relied on a pagan.
Sometimes, religious people are portrayed as simple-minded, not relying on logic and evidence. But I couldn't help think throughout the show that though the concept was simple, such as proclaiming the one true God as being on the winning side, and then the one true God abandoning the losing side, it motivated people - will God forgive or not? It is smart. If it wasn't smart, then leaders/influencers wouldn't rely on it. Following along appears simple-minded, but it is necessary when you can't find any other way to contribute or your contributions are not allowed to count for much.
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), or any other ism.
